A life full of bad choices

“Life is choice. All day, every day. Who we talk to, where we sit, what we say, how we say it. And our lives become defined by our choices. It’s as simple and as complex as that. And as powerful.”

- Louise Penny

All through my life, I have had this nagging thought about the choices I have made, and that I could have probably chosen something better. This is true in all aspects of my life – academics, job, love, marriage, and even my behavior.

I am not sure if there is anyone out there who can confidently say that all her or his choices were spot on and took them where they wanted to be, when they wanted to be and how they wanted to be. Don’t think I am talking about a couple of choices here, I am talking about all the choices coming out perfect. I guess not and I am no exception.

Then there is this second category of people for whom the majority of their choices worked out well, but some of them turned out to be bad. So good were their better choices, that even the bad choices had a positive effect on their lives. Be delighted if you are part of this group, because I don’t figure in this group.

The third category of people is notorious for making all the bad choices, but one good choice they made changed their lives for the better or best. Believe me, I have some people in my life who did exactly that and have a blessed life. I don’t think I belong to this group either.

That makes me figure in the last category of people, who have made and continue to make bad choices, hoping that one day, we will make a life choice which is going to turn our lives upside down for the better. The fact is, it is such a mystery that we don’t know when or where or in what context this choice will be made.

Nevertheless, my life hasn’t been all that dull. I too have made really good choices and dare I say that my best choice till date has made me wade through all the consequences of the bad choices that I have been make all along. And that choice is – my Friends. I know that after reading the first part, they wouldn’t wait before calling me and saying, “Pal, don’t think you made all the choices, see you have us as friends right?” True, I have you, through thick and thin. It is only because of you, that I am sitting here reminiscing my past with a smile, and writing about it – mind you, with no regrets. In hindsight, I think I should elevate myself to the third category, you my friends being my life changing choice. What say? J

The thing is, what I ultimately wanted to say is – just because you have had a life full of bad choices, doesn’t mean that your life itself is bad. For one, it is exciting as every time you find yourself trying to wriggle out of a situation that is a result of one of your bad choices. Secondly, you learn a lot from that experience, that next time you will make a bad choice not in this but in some other avenue (although I have broken that record as well). Thirdly, you make your friends feel important, as they are constantly trying to pull you out of such situations and at the end, they feel that they have rescued you. J Finally, you turn your life into a story which if made into a movie, will be the next blockbuster.

What more do you want from life, eh!

Disclaimer: This is meant only for age group 30 and above. All the stunts discussed here were performed by an expert (yours truly). Please don’t imitate these in your personal lives.

SACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN…………………SACHIN

Yesterday my friend asked me why my blogs have dried up. The answer to that is, blogging to me is an emotional thing. I cannot post something for anything unless I feel for it. Well, here I am, sitting in front of my system, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes – all emotional, barely responding to my dad calling me because my voice is stuttering. All this because one man stopped doing what he did best. That’s it. We won’t see Sachin playing professional cricket again.

There were 4 stages of my life as a fan of Sachin. Stage 1: really didn’t know much about the game but used to love watching him bat because he was the baby face of cricket, made me believe that if that kid can play for India any one can. Stage 2: learned to play the game, started playing the game and started believing that if Sachin got out, India should declare because if he is not in the middle, there is no hope whatsoever. Stage 3: started analyzing his game, concentrated more on his flaws while he seemed cool and went around breaking virtually every batting record in the history of the sport. Stage 4: started criticizing him. Got really enraged when he slowed down after reaching his 90s, frustrated with him getting bowled more often than not, wondered why he didn’t retire and give other young guys a chance.

Someone once told me, “Beware what you wish for!” This is the moment that I understood the true meaning of those words. Like me, there were a lot of others who would have criticized him for the way he played at the twilight of his career, asking why he is not retiring. Now I know the reason. After him, there is this void that neither Dhoni, nor Kohli, nor can anyone else fill. I understand that because, I have transformed from a 7 year old to a 31 year old while he played and played and played. Every nation has a person who is the face of that nation, by which I mean when you talk about that country, you invariably talk about that person. More often than not, it will be a sportsman. Like Argentina = Maradona, Brazil = Pele, France = Zidane, Jamaica = Bolt and when it comes to India, it was always Tendulkar. I know and I believe that Indian cricket will do well without Tendulkar. We have the players. But the simple thing is cricket will not. His wife Anjali today said that “I can imagine cricket without Sachin, but I cannot imagine Sachin without cricket.” I guess that sums it all up. You eat, pray, love and live a game for almost 3 quarters of your life. To realize that you won’t be doing that again is heartbreaking and overwhelmingly depressing. I only wish that he doesn’t go into depression.

I saw a lot of posts saying Dravid, VVS, and a few others deserved a much better farewell than what they actually got. Agree! No two doubts about that. But what Sachin got today, he deserved. Let us not take it away from him. What if the West Indies tour was needless! What if the venue was shifted from elsewhere to Mumbai! So what! In a country where the biggest criminals and corrupted politicians are given Z – class security and taxpayers’ money is spent on maintaining their standard of living, doing something so little for someone who has given so much for the country is just a small gesture, a small thank you. Sachin deserves every iota of the affection he was shown today simply because he gave India one big thing that it needed – Hope. People might say that India did not do well although Sachin played well. Played well though, didn’t he? But in a team sport like cricket, one person cannot make a difference (I am talking about the time when T20 was not discovered). He always performed to the best of his abilities. He was seldom or should I say never dropped from the side unless he is injured. I have also heard that he will be the first one to be picked. Also, I have never witnessed so much pressure on a single sportsman in my life or read about it. We Indians are crazy and to carry our expectations on his shoulders is nothing less than godly. In the current Team India, I don’t think there is anyone who has taken that much pressure. Because we know that if Virat dot out, we have Raina, or Dhoni or Jadeja. Back then it was only Sachin. If Sachin got out, India was out.That is why he is worshipped.

I am at a loss for words today because I am emotional like many of you out there. I saw how my dad got crazy after he retired from his service. I can only imagine what Sachin will feel when he wakes up tomorrow and realize that he won’t be playing competitive cricket ever again. I hope he copes up well for that challenge.

WE LOVE YOU SACHIN & WE WILL MISS YOU

SACHIIIIIIIIIIN…………..SACHIN

The Spirit of Onam

Another Onam is here; and so are the festivities.

One thing about litigation, you get your holidays on time. Courts have closed for Onam holidays – believe it or not, we are getting 10 days off. The week leading up to the holidays are always celebration-filled in all institutions, organizations and offices. Once the holidays are here, it is rush, rush and mad rush. You see crowded streets all around. Needless to say, Onam is a season of high SPIRITS – both liquid and the feeling. It is during Onam, that the state-run Beverages Corporation garners the maximum profit J. And it is during Onam that you see people smiling most of the time regardless of their differences. The smile is infectious. It radiates so much optimism and positivism that for once you feel that you are living in a society devoid of all sorrows. This is exactly why you should never be indoors during Onam. Get out. Go watch a street drama, a dance program, a music show, or a cultural fest. It is so full of vividness and happiness that you forget all your worries. Just go with the flow. And believe me – as a city, Thiruvananthapuram is the place to be during this festive season. The colorfully lit streets and buildings, the cultural programs, the over-crowded beaches, the dirt cheap shopping and the week-long celebrations which culminate with the procession of floats through the main city streets - it gives you everything. I am not saying that Onam is not enjoyed in other places. It does, and probably in a much more subtle and traditional way. However, let me not bring in petty regional differences that have been the bane of our society. This is the time to be happy.

Many people would argue that Onam has lost its charm and that it is no longer celebrated in the way it is supposed to be celebrated. It is true. However, people are helpless. There are no trees for tying swings, no more courtyards for putting pookkalams (floral carpets), the countryside which used to host traditional games and other celebrations have given way to new constructions. These are changes inevitable to a changing society though.

Through all these, the spirit of Onam still lives on. Onam may be celebrated differently from the way it was celebrated, maybe, a decade ago. But then the world we live in is different too. It is true to say that in the heart of every Malayali, Onam occupies a special place. It will be celebrated albeit according to changing trends. You can never take Onam out of a Malayali’s life.

The New Generation Syndrome

It feels good to be back to blogging ways. Exactly 2 years after my last post, I finally got over my blogger’s block J; felt the urge to put my thoughts into words. All this is due to my love for cinema or movies or feature films or whatever you want to call it.

For the past couple of years, any interview of a film personality is never done without a discussion on one topic- their thoughts on the emergence of “new generation” movies. Is this the name possibly given to the movies which are created by up and coming directors or script writers, or is there really something that exists. A genre called The New Generation. The fact remains that this has been incongruously used in Malayalam media more than anywhere else in the country or the world for that matter. Frankly, I fail to see anything “NEW” in the movies that have released in the recent past. I have been part of various film festivals and watched lot of movies in different languages to say that this so called “new” was old stuff (tried ‘n tested)10 years back – even the boredom that accompanies it.

The current trend in Malayalam movies seems to be to show real life from seemingly impossible angles. No doubt, these are visually captivating. However, for someone who sees movies purely as a form of entertainment, I find it difficult to accept the overdose or abundance of reality injected into them (Unless of course, the reality itself is more entertaining than fiction). If you want to portray what is happening in the real world, might as well do a documentary. Save the cinema going public their money. Forgive me for being so honest, it is my blog after all. Take it or leave it should ideally be my motto, but I would really appreciate an honest attempt to understand my point of view here. I recently had a huge argument with one of my ex-colleagues over whether movies are merely entertainment or whether it is a true reflection of life in real. I was hell-bent on my argument that movies = entertainment. In hindsight, I was wrong indeed. The fact that this ex-colleague of mine is a “new gen” himself makes his argument logical as most of the movies that come out in Malayalam nowadays are reflections of life as a whole. Whether it is a good reflection or bad reflection is fodder for another argument. Then again, it all lies in the mind of the audience. To be brutally honest once more, I somehow see reflections of a foreign language movie in most of the movies now made rather than that of real life. It might be coincidence too. Like thinking minds are spread across the world – so that can explain the similar frames too. As some Malayalam movie director said, there are only 18 basic story threads in the world (or is it 8?). All the stories are spun out of these threads. It is a difficult proposition, don’t you think?

Now let’s come to the “new gen” actors. There are a bunch of them, apparently the brave Davids standing up tall and fighting the two mighty Goliaths (Mammotty and Mohanlal). The question however is whether there is a need for a fight at all. Do these two stalwarts need to win against them to prove themselves? I think not. This fight is actually non-existent. I have not done enough research on the topic to comment on who spread this or whether the new gen actors are, in fact, in a race with Mammootty and Mohanlal. I believe in one thing though. Deep down in their minds, every one of them will any day be willing to swap their lives with either of these two Big Boys of Malayalam cinema. As director Ranjith said in an interview recently, “it is not easy to weave a story for and make a movie with Mohanlal or Mammootty in the, but a challenge to use these huge talents in a movie and turn it into a success.”Well, face it guys, they are super-talented and none of the new ones can come within miles of these two. And I am not some middle-aged man frantically trying to support his generation heroes. They were stars way before I started to understand movies.

Comparing Malayalam movies with movies made in other languages reveal interesting facts. Take the example of Tamil. Tamil movies too have turned a corner. Lot of new directors, actors, script writers and a whole different way of story-telling has changed Tamil movies for the better. There are real life stories in Tamil too. For example, the strangely unimaginable true story or Naduvila Konjum Pakkathe Kaanum (NKPK). The fact that the actors and some of the technicians in the movie themselves had such an experience add credence to the movie. I genuinely think that they will not be able to make another movie of such quality in the future though, with all due respect. Such is the impact of this true life incident that when it was portrayed on silver screen, it turned out to be both entertaining, enchanting and surprisingly feel-good. Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. Having said all these, it is a fact that these movies are not considered “new generation” but merely another movie which is entertaining. How simple! It is strange that sometimes, we Malayalis just don’t want to see things as it is or in a simple way. We usually like to complicate things. We like seeing the Sun as a star that is at the center of a solar system which in turn is a part of a galaxy called the Milky Way and God-knows-what. In simple terms it is just a ball of fire which can give us a tan. Apologies, again for being so crass!

I was forced to express my thoughts about Malayalam movies because I felt saddened with the fact that I don’t enjoy going to the theaters to watch Malayalam movies any more. I went and saw a Laljose movie last week as it was surprisingly entertaining. Two hours of solid fun. Isn’t it what we should be looking for? In these days of a plunging rupee and ever climbing cost-of-living and tensions in office and lot more! Having Fun? Nowadays, people say that they love a movie not because they really loved watching it, but because of the fact that their intellect might be questioned if they said otherwise. The fact remains that we are sadly hypocritical. At least don’t be so when it comes to entertainment. Deep down, we all want to come out of a movie theater with a smile on our faces and the satisfaction that we have had a couple of hours of solid entertainment.

P.S: I don’t expect everyone to agree to my POV. There are people who genuinely see movies as a piece of art and intellectual brilliance. To them, I can only say, forgive me for being so naive.

There's somethng about Biriyani!

There's in fact something about biriyani that I fail to understand.

Today, I went to a prominent restaurant on ECR to get some food packed. The restaurant was full - with vacant tables, on Sunday afternoon, when it is supposed to get the maximum business. I saw the manager walking lethargically to a space alongside the restaurant which actually used to be another prominent restaurant. Apparently, both these restaurants have the same owner. It is another thing that the owner does not need the restaurant to run, to earn a living. Think about those people who invested their life's savings in opening a concept restaurant with a novel idea and end up on the wrong side of it.

What do they do? The answer is simple. Biriyani. Squeeze biriyani into the menu somehow. Better income is guaranteed. The other day, I went to an eating joint in the IT Park in which I am working. I was really impressed by their grilled items and combos, which were tasty and reasonably priced. I was shocked to see that the menu had changed (ON PUBLIC DEMAND..SO THE POOR GUYS SAY). From now on, their sandwiches will be replaced by the great biriyani. What a pity!

This is just one example. There are Italian restaurants in Chennai which had to include biriyani in their menus to survive. What is this obsession with biriyani? I once asked a colleague of mine about how he/she liked the buffet in a classy hotel. I started the conversation like this."Wow, that was great lunch! The food was amazing. What do you think?" Swift came the reply. "Yeah, the biriyani was superb."  I wish I had never asked.

Again two of my colleagues gave me those nasty glares when they came to know that I hate biriyani. They gave me the feeling that I just confessed that I had murdered someone. Well, COME ON!

If you have the right to like biriyani, I have the right to hate it as well.

This comes from my heart, as I have had plans of starting a restaurant of my own. Now, that idea seems to be stupid as the only way to earn money out of it will be to feed people with something which I personally abhor. Then again, people might argue that every wine shop owner is not a drunkard. Well, yours truly do not believe in this principle. So, to hell with it! I am not starting a restaurant. That's it!

I must say that Chennai is not a haven for real foodies who like to try out new cuisines. I know that people in Nungambakkam will beg to differ. But you can't expect people to travel to another district every week to have good food, can you? Or for that matter, another state. (Couple of weeks ago, we were in Bangalore and absolutely savored whatever we had. So much variety! Wah.)

So, that's it.

There is something about biriyani, which I don't understand and probably never will. AND NEVER WANT TO.

Team India White Washed - Should we really be bothered?

20 months as the world's No.1 test cricket team and holders of the ICC Cricket World Cup. The Men In Blue had reached The Summit. From there, it is either coming back, or exploring the other side. Either way, it was going to be a downward trip. Well, one should admire the Captain, the Coaching staff and the Senior members of the side for reaching there and maintaining the position as the No.1 test side for 20 months. All this, with just one quality bowler - Zaks. Kudos to them. They were a brave side. 

We were the ones who walked with our heads held high because 11 men slogged their ...es off in the middle. We were the ones who flaunted those expensive Team India jerseys and Bleed Blue t-shirts just to show that we were the loyal supporters of the greatest team that India has ever produced in any sport. So why shy away from that role, when our team - which had given us so much joy - needs us the most.

So what if India was beaten by England (apparently the country where the sport originated, and a nation which did not have it in them to win the World Cup even once) in England under seaming conditions with an injured Zaheer and a tired team (thanks to World Cup and IPL and West Indies and ads and parties and you name it). God knows it and we know it too, that we can beat them hands down in their own sport on any given day. We have been doing it since Lagaan. If Bhushan and Co. can do it, so can MS and Co.

Now, we have seen our boys get there and remain there for a considerable time. Let's see how they maintain their position. If today it's the Aussies, tomorrow it's the Indians; if the day after tomorrow it's the English, the next day will belong to the Proteas. For all you may know, the next world cup may well be won by the Zimbabweans. That's the beauty of sport, ain't it? So just sit back, relax and enjoy.

There is only one Sachin, one Dravid, one Sehwag, one Laxman and one Dhoni. There is only one place where you can see all of them to gether - Team India. Let us maintain the integrity. Let's be there for them.

So what I propose to all the cricket lovers of India is this:

Abuse the system; abuse the selectors; abuse the sponsors who make ads; abuse everything that make cricket bad, but NOT THE PLAYERS and NOT THE TEAM,

coz I believe there are too many in this country whose only known identity is - "SUPPORTER OF TEAM INDIA"

It's cloudy in Chennai...

This should serve as a good title as Chennai seldom gets cloudy. I wonder if it has something to do with my blog template. Maybe it's just me. I always have this uncanny knack of relating everything that is happening in this world to my own "GREAT" life. It's too bad that I can't enjoy it as I am having a really bad cold and am blowing my nose away to glory. The "eternal rain lover" that I am, it hurts when I realize that I won't be able to enjoy rain as much as I used to once upon a time in Trivandrum.

It's surprising however, that, almost 90 per cent of the people I know in Chennai, hate rains. I wonder why! Inspite of the fact that rains in Chennai means respite from the scorching heat, less power cuts and a good night's sleep for many. But then, I should not forget that this is India. Rains also mean waterlogged roads, clogged sewage channels, overflowing drainages. floating filth and so on and so forth.

Gone are those days when kids used to splash rain water on each other on their way to school and back. I consider myself lucky that I was born and brought up in a "tier II" city (in economic terms) enjoying this lovely phenomenon called rains. Then again, that tier II city rarely had sewage or drainage issues as it was blessed with a hilly terrain. So, if at all there was water logging, it used to be only in low lying areas or ponds or fields. Frankly, I am not sure of the situation in this once beautiful city now.

There used to be not one child who would come to the school totally dry on the day of school reopening (June 1st) and I guess the date still remains June 1st. It is the most amazing  feeling and I feel sad that the kids of today cannot enjoy it as much as we did.

Now the question remains. What does it take to make rains an enjoyable experience? The answer is simple - better sanitation, better roads, proper dainage facilities, responsible officials, less corruption and also all the way upto Lokpal Bill.

Well here's another reason to support Anna Hazare's campaign - we want  to enjoy rains without any glitches.

Jai Hind!